Since I posted about feeling down on Saturday, I’ve managed to pick myself up again so I thought that in today’s post I’d share how I lift myself out of a bad mood.
As I said in that post, there’s nothing at all weird or wrong with getting down sometimes but I’ve learnt that it ultimately does no good to wallow or allow yourself to stay down if at all possible so here’s how I avoid it.
The very first thing I do is acknowledge how I’m feeling. I think that it’s really important to take the time to acknowledge and accept how you are feeling because otherwise you won’t be able to get to the root of the issue and move on. Rather than try to sweep my feelings to the side, I try to really assess what it is that I feel because there are so many ways to feel down. Am I sad? Angry? Frustrated? Bored? Finding out where the feeling is coming from is the only way to know how to fix it.
Next, I try to consider why it is that I feel down. Often it isn’t even one huge obvious thing but lots of little things that have grated on me until I just can’t take it any more. Was it something someone did to me? Have I let myself down in some way? Has something just not worked out as planned or have I come to a realisation? Addressing each of the things that are bothering me and making a list, mentally or physically writing it down if it helps is the first step to getting past them.
|Shirt Dress from Topshop (tied up as a shirt) | Skirt: Boohoo|
Now for the golden question, ‘Is it something that can be fixed?’. If the answer is ultimately yes then I will break down how exactly I can fix it into manageable chunks. If, for instance, what’s getting you down is money trouble, rather than just thinking ‘I need more money’, think of small steps you can take to make more money. Can you increase your hours at work, get a weekend job to top up your earnings, create a budget, sell things online or ask a friend or family member for help?
If it’s not something that I can fix, I come to terms with the facts that I have to accept it and move on. Sometimes that can be difficult so I will give myself some time but I will always set a deadline of when I am going to actively focus on something positive. I find that a good night’s sleep is often a good cutoff point so, if I’m having a really hard day, I will say, ‘Okay, I accept that today is a write-off but tomorrow I am going to close the lid on this one, dust myself off and focus on ______ more positive thing’ and that’s exactly what I do. Throw yourself into a work project, schedule some time for a hobby you love or set back to back dates to meet some friends and catch up, anything to take your focus away from the negative thing that’s draining your energy so you can mentally move on from it.
The last thing I will take the time to do is to think of all of the things I am grateful for in my life, despite whatever is getting me down. If this is hard, start with just three. Some days it feels like the world is against me, nothing is working in my favour and I want to scream. Then I make myself think about the people who don’t have a roof over their heads and go to sleep hungry at night. Those without families and/or friends, those who work three jobs to feed their kids and those suffering terrible illnesses. Suddenly my piddly first world problems just don’t seem that bad and I often feel embarrassed for having even been so self pitying. Again, this is not to say that we aren’t justified in feeling down as our personal lows are relative our highs but when I realise that the lowest low I’ve ever felt is probably still more fortunate that somebody else’s highest high, it makes me realise how lucky I am to be alive and that I shouldn’t waste time feeling down when I have so much to enjoy in life.
Of course I’m not claiming that all these steps work to relieve heavy sadness, like having suffered a loss or deep depression but at times when I’m just frankly having a shitty day, these steps really do help to get me through.
Thank you for reading! In between posts you can see what I’m up to on Instagram stories here @missjadefraser – Jade xx
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